Getting shot and robbed

To tell you right away, what comes now is not a joke neither invited… although believe me, I wished it was!

Yesterday, Thursday the 19th of October 2006, I was still more or less excited about the fact that there is wireless in the mall just around the corner of my house so again I went with the laptop there is in my house (because mine is dead) to use the free internet. I got a message that some friends were about going to the pictures. So I grabbed my stuff at 7 p.m. and went home to put the laptop down. On my way home I was thinking of putting another shirt on where I saw this two boys standing on the street talking to each other. So what, there are always people on the street. I didn't think anything.

I was opening the door to enter the front yard of my house when a guy from behind bound himself over my shoulder, put a rifle in my face and asked me for my money.
I was in shock, couldn’t believe that there is a fkn gun in my face!
What happened next went all really really fast.
Seeing that revolver I wandered if it was a real one…(strange I know but true)
I turned myself really quickly, screamed like hell, kicked the guy with the gun with my left leg away and tried to shot the door but there were two of them and therefore stronger in keeping the door open. The guy with the gun shot in my left knee and I flew on the ground. He grabbed my shirt, pulled my bag over my shoulder and took it. I shouted no, not the bag, here take the money and offered him all I had in my pockets (which was 8$). Strangely he didn’t take it and they quickly walked away. Surprised about the fact that I could still stand with a shot leg I ran after them, because all I thought about was the laptop in my bag.
The guy with the gun turned around and pointed the pistol on my body waiting for my reaction. Scared about my life I stopped. They went off to the car waiting for them and drove away.
I was like “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK” on the street when I realised that there were already lots of people watching what’s going on.

I was in shock, couldn’t believe what just happened and was so pissed off about that all I got just got stolen. Really, everything!
There was a laptop in my bag, my external hard-disc with all my work, all my data and information, all my pictures just everything on it – gone!!!
There was my MP3 player, my agenda, my book that I carry with me since EXPROS in Colombia with everything I’ve ever written down for AIESEC since then. There were all my contact cards from IC, the keys for the MC office, my medicine for my sickness and some other stuff like English-German dictionary, pens, markers and so on.
I was so down, so sad that all this stuff was just gone!

The first time I realized about the fact that I was bloody lucky that I was still alive was when Marie-Louisa, the doctor in my house came home and told me so.
Hell yeah, I was very lucky, the bulled just hit my knee, it didn’t enter (Streifschuss). My trousers have 3 holes in and the wound is about 5cm long, 1cm broad and 5mm deep. But I can move my leg and it doesn’t hurt – it’s all good about me. Guess that’s why I was worried about the laptop and my work and stuff.

It’s weird what you start to think about after a happening like that.
Some thoughts that went through my head were:

• I just said thanks to my angels (one day ago on my post - I do so every day) that guard me and that is what you do??!!
• One second later you go: Wow, thank you very very very much my beloved angels that you guard me and that I’m still alive. That nothing more happened. That the bulled just hit me in my knee and not entered somewhere in my body. That I didn’t get punched with the gun or whatever!
• I’M ALIVE, THANK YOU MY ANGELS!!
• Fuck the laptop is gone – and it’s not even mine!!
• Damned, ALL MY WORK – ALL MY WORK IS AWAY! I can kind of start from scratch

And then you start analyzing the whole thing:

• Why didn’t they take the money?
• Did they knew that I have a laptop? No, they wouldn’t have asked for the money?
• Did I react correctly? What could I have done? Should I have done to react better, to prevent the whole crime.
• and so on…

and of course you start with all this what if questions:

• What if I had gone the Manta to the conference?
• What if I had reacted differently?
• What if I just had given them the money right away? Would they have taken it and just left?
• What if I hadn’t been there at that point of time?
• and so on and on…

But this all leads to nothing. It happened no matter what and I cannot change a thing about it.
All I can do is saying thanks to my angels, being happy that nothing worse happened and that I’m still alive.

One thing more there is to say though.
I feel like these guys haven’t just stolen all the values, all my work and I can start with NOTHING in my hands again, I guess there is much more than that.
I feel like they have stolen my motivation, my trust and connivance and I don’t know about my believe in Ecuador, my believe that I can change something here.
I really ask myself what this has to mean, is it a sign?
What is it I’m trying to do here? It’s all for nothing, isn’t it?

Guess I need time, time to calm down, to come over it.
Time to find my motivation again, to get up again and move on.
Up and till now I always thought I NEVER GIVE UP!
Hope that’s not gonna change.


A really sad but happy about being alive
giovanni